A Few Thoughts

So I don't do this, but I had a really great experience last night that I feel like sharing. The past few months have been really hard for me, they've slowly started to get easier, but it has definitely been a trial. Through all of this I've tried to dive into my scriptures and to pray with more meaning. I wanted so badly to be able to feel the spirit telling me that this gospel is true, that the Book of Mormon is true and that Joseph Smith was a true Prophet of God. Most of all I wanted to feel of my Heavenly Father's love. It's been a struggle, I know that this church is true and that Heavenly Father loves me, but I wasn't receiving that affirmation that I desired. So I decided to really evaluate my life, and I realized that there were definitely some things that I needed to work on, my attitude, my actions, things like that. I then came up with a plan, I had finished the Book of Mormon a few weeks earlier and I wanted to start it again. I decided to read it this time while studying the religion 121/122 manual. I wanted to learn more, to really dive into the scriptures and to understand what the words mean and the purpose of the messages. I've been doing this for the last couple of weeks, and last night I came across something amazing, for me. I wanted to share it with you, because it touched me so deeply.
In 1 Nephi 8 it talks about Lehi's vision of the tree of life. In the manual it helps us to break apart the meaning of each symbol, and through cross referencing, helps us understand how this vision is important to us right now. We learn that the rod of iron is the word of God, and as we hold firm to the word of God and follow the things that he has commanded us, then we will be able to make it through the mists of darkness (temptations of the devil) that may over come us. We also learn that as we hold to that rod we follow a straight and narrow path that will bring us to the tree of life. If we read in Matthew 7:14 we learn that there won't be many that stay on this path, it is a hard path to follow, and many will be lead astray through the mists of darkness to the great and spacious building. But if we remain strong and true we will come to the tree of life, the Love of God, and we will be able to partake of the fruit: "a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy. And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen." 1 Nephi 8:10-11 The Love of God is the most desirable thing for us, I know that I have partaken of His love, and I desire to continue to partake of His love and to continue to hold strong and true to the iron rod as I pass through my mists of darkness.
The other thing I learned that was so profound to me was found in 1 Nephi 10. We learn in this chapter and in cross reference to D&C 10:38-45, that the record that Nephi kept was so important to us today that Heavenly Father commanded Nephi to make two record because he knew one would be lost and his people still needed the records that Nephi wrote. He knew how important Nephi's writings would be in bringing the fullness of the gospel to this earth and so he ensured a way that they would come. Heavenly Father knows ALL things and he will prepare a way for his work to come forth.
Thinking about the long shpeal I've written I've realized that this may not be so profound, but to me it made the biggest difference. As I was studying last night at work, the spirit witnessed to me of the truthfulness of this gospel, that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon by the power of God and that my Heavenly Father loves me. I needed this witness so badly, and I am so grateful to have it. I just wanted you all to know that my testimony is strong, I love this church, I love this gospel, I love my husband and my family. Even though things may be hard, they can still be wonderful. Heavenly Father gives us each only what we can handle, and if we have faith in him, He will prepare a way. The Book of Mormon manual states, "While the Lord 'shall prepare a way' for the obedient servant to keep his Commandment. the way may not be easy." I testify of that, I have seen this in my life. But I want to add to that and say, that as we come unto Christ, our burdens will be made light.
I love you all and encourage you to dive into the scriptures, pray fervently and feel the love of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Spencer W. Kimball stated, "You have to fight for a testimony. You have to keep fighting!" I'm going to keep fighting, and I challenge each you to keep fighting as well.